How Nonviolent Communication checks the collapse of the Community?

Vedabhyas Kundu,

Programme Officer,

Gandhi Smriti and Darshan Samiti

Prof Robert Putnam is his acclaimed book, Bowling Alone: The Collapse and Revival of American Community talks about how modern society has suffered from a collapse of community. Prof Putnam presents evidence that increasingly we are connecting with each other less meaningfully more than ever before. In the context of America, Putnam points out how cities and traditional suburbs have given way to “edge cities” and “exurbs” – vast, anonymous places where people sleep and work and do little else. He says as people spend more and more time in the office, commuting to work and watching TV alone, there’s less time for joining community groups and voluntary organisations, and socialising with neighbours, friends and even family.

As a trend towards increasing individualization of society, Putnam argues through his research that people belong to fewer social, religious groups and clubs. In his primer on social capital, he shares the following key points of his research:

·         Joining and participating in one group cuts in half your odds of dying next year.

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Every ten minutes of commuting reduces all forms of social capital by 10%

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Watching commercial entertainment TV is the only leisure activity where doing more of it is associated with lower social capital.

·         Declining Social Capital: Trends over the last 25 years

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Attending Club Meetings : 58% drop

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Family dinners : 43% drop

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Having friends over : 35% drop.

Putnam cites several reasons for this collapse of the community. This includes long work hours, changes in family structures and generations, the influence of television and social media etc.  (http://robertdputnam.com/bowling-alone/social-capital-primer/)

One of the important ways in which people can get over with this problem of the collapse of the community according to Prof Putnam is ‘by coming together in unity for the good of our communities- we can generate trust, reciprocity, information flows and quality social cooperation’. This is what Bourdieu had described as the idea of social capital. According to Bourdieu social capital is the aggregate of the actual or potential resources which are linked to possession of a durable network of more or less institutionalized relationships of mutual acquaintance and recognition.

Meanwhile OECD describes social capital as “networks together with shared norms, values and understandings that facilitate co-operation within or among groups”. It divides social capital into three categories: bonds, bridges and linkages with each one referring to the strength or level of one’s social link with another person. The New Economy: Beyond the Hype describes social capital as the glue which facilitates co-operation, exchange and innovation.

Social capital provides both groups and individuals with strong social contacts and trust they need in order to effectively work together. The ability to move up, down and sideways through different varies of social networks is an important life skill, when it comes to maintaining relationships.

Notwithstanding the critiques of social capital and criticisms of Putnam’s argument about collapse of the community, it would be worthwhile to look at strategies to enhance social capital. A powerful strategy to enhance it is by promoting the use of nonviolent communication. The way we communicate, our expressions, the language we use, the words that are used and our non verbal messages all are central on whether we wish to talk for solidarity or divisiveness.

Mahatma Gandhi’s communication approach is an apt lesson of how we can practice nonviolence in our communication efforts. From start to finish, the underlying principle of Gandhian engagement with an opponent in a conflict was to keep the channels open, to avoid intimidation and to remove all obstacles to dialogues. His idea of mutual toleration is an important element of nonviolent communication. He had said, “The golden rule of conduct...is mutual toleration, seeing that we will never all think alike and we shall always see truth in fragment and from different angles of vision....Even amongst the most conscientious persons, there will be room enough for honest differences of opinion. The only possible rule of conduct in any civilized society is therefore, mutual toleration.” 

Senior Gandhian, Natwar Thakkar gives a nuanced perspective of nonviolent communication. According to him:

Nonviolent communication literacy would mean how our communication efforts should be nonviolent; how our ability and capacity to communicate not only with ourselves but with our family and society be nonviolent in all aspects and overall how the entire process of communication whether between individuals, groups, communities and the world at large should be nonviolent in nature. This would entail deep understanding of the art and science of nonviolence and its centrality in all our daily actions. It’s not just verbal and nonverbal communication, nonviolent communication literacy would also include whether our thoughts and ideas are nonviolent or not. This would also mean how we can rid of our preconceived notions of individuals or groups with whom we want to communicate and stop evaluating them to suit our own ideas. More than often we are attuned to think in terms of moralistic judgments which may be our own constructions. By developing deep understanding of the art and science of nonviolence and integrating it in our communication practices we could get over with biased and moralistic judgments; this in turn could contribute to emotional bridge building.

By being nonviolent communication literate, an individual/group/community will be able to self-introspect whether the message they want to share has elements of violence and whether such a message will hurt others. Nonviolent communication literacy would automatically help in strengthening and deepening relationships. When we are able to emotionally build bridges with others, we will be able to empathize with their views.

By practicing nonviolent communication, we can strengthen and deepen relationships. When we are able to emotionally build bridges with others, we can, as Putnam had noted, ‘generate trust, reciprocity, information flows and quality social cooperation’.

An important element of nonviolent communication is the power of gratitude. It is through the power of gratitude we can improve the quality of social cooperation and thereby enhance social capital. Nonviolent communication can help in facilitating meaningful dialogues and engagement; these again are crucial for enhancement of social capital.

In the backdrop of the above perspectives it can hence be argued that practicing nonviolent communication can check the collapse of the community in contemporary society.